Sarah
by Elimere
Summary: "If you don't want to go, just say so, Vega. Don't try to come up with stupid excuses. I just thought, since I've got two tickets to the only show my favorite band are playing for under eighteens, you would want to go with me. You know, since you're my friend..." AU Jade POV Jori
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

_It was twenty thirteen, music festival.  
She'd become my best friend,  
Still I wanted more.  
Too scared to make the leap…_

It was supposed to be a date. It _should_ have been a date; I was just too chicken to ask.  
We were friends, that much I could admit. Anything else… was too hard.

"Vega!" I yelled from across the hall, smirking when she jumped and spun to face me.

"Jade! What the hell? You scared the chizz out of me!" I walked over to stand next to her as she held her hand to her chest. I folded my arms and leant against the lockers, watching as she went back to riffling through her own.

"That was the idea." I replied. "Anyway, you busy tonight?" How I managed to not sound nervous I had no idea. My heart hammered in my chest and I contemplated the different scenarios.

"Ugh, I have a _ton _of homework. If I don't make some headway in my maths, I'm in serious danger of getting detention." She scowled and I laughed, though inside my heart twisted in pain at the thought that she might reject me.

"Oh no!" I put the back of my hand to my forehead and sang out using the 1940's voice I loved to tease her with. "Deary me! Sweet, innocent Tori Vega getting a detention, whatever shall we do?" I laughed as she looked at me with as much malice as she could, something I found to be completely adorable, and slammed her locker shut.

"I. Don't. _Talk like that!"_ She spun on her heel and stormed past me toward the asphalt café. I laughed and followed after her. I was still grinning manically when I sat down next to her at the table. She simply frowned at me in annoyance.

"Come on, Vega, lighten up." I nudged her shoulder with my own and her face softened slightly at the contact. "I know, tonight, how about you take a break from being Miss _Good Girl_ and go with me to this concert?" I played the question off as fun, but inside I was dying. This was not how I had wanted this to go…

"What concert…?" She asked suspiciously.

"Yes, Vega, it _is_ a rock concert." I looked at her pointedly. "Learn to embrace your dark side." I slid closer to her and peered up with covered eyes. "_I know you have one…_" I purred. Her face flushed and she refused to look at me, simply playing with the food on the table in front of her.

"I dunno, Jade… I-I don't think it's a good idea. I am _really_ behind in a lot of classes and I doubt my parents would let me go out on a school night…" She bit her lip and I could almost see the gears turning in her head as she tried to come up with a way out. I pulled back and struggled to reign in the feeling of disappointment.

"If you don't want to go, just say so, Vega. Don't try to come up with stupid excuses. I just thought, since I've got two tickets to the _only_ show my favourite band are playing for under eighteens, you would want to go with me. You know, since you're my _friend_..." I bit my lip to hide the smirk after the last word. It wasn't something I said often and I knew she cherished each time I did. As expected, she looked at me with wide eyes and a giant smile.

"I- I…" She stuttered and seemed really torn. "I love hearing you say that Jade, believe me I do… It's just… " I watched her face with bated breath as the last of her excuses died away. "Alright! I'll go, okay? I'll go." She shook her head and laughed at herself. "How are you able to talk me into doing things I _always_ regret the next day?"

"It's a gift." I shrugged but inside my heart burst with happiness. So it wasn't a date; but maybe, given the right setting, I could still tell her how I felt.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

_We drank the gin we'd snuck in  
And danced the night away.  
I turned around to tell her,  
But didn't see her anywhere.  
I couldn't keep her safe…_

"Tori!" I shouted out to the crowd. I didn't know what had happened. One second I'd been holding her hand in mine and we were dancing so close… I just had to confess then and there! Before I could speak, someone bumped into us from behind, we broke apart and I lost sight of her. It wasn't as jam-packed as I had initially expected, so she shouldn't have disappeared so fast, especially considering that her bright blue dress was an eyesore, something I'd made sure to inform her of earlier.

Standing on top of the closest picnic table, I took out my phone and tried calling her while scanning the crowd. It rang and rang and rang... As panic began to set it, a sweet sound chirped through the phone and really I should have figured it out immediately.

"Hey,"

"Vega! Thank the chizz, where-"

"This is Tori, I can't come…" I yanked away the phone and smacked it against my forehead. _Stupid stupid stupid!_ I put it back to my ear and left a message.

"Vega! Where the hell did you go? Look, if you get this, call me back okay?" I tried to keep the fear from my voice and hung up.

_Okay, West. Calm down. She'll be fine. It's an under ages gig, nothing can happen to her. She probably just needed a break and forgot to tell you or something stupid like that. Maybe her mum called and she wandered off to talk to her._ I tried to reassure myself, but in the back of my mind was that inkling, that nagging feeling that she wasn't alright. That something had happened. That she was gone…


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

_I searched through all the students,  
Ran to the first aid stand.  
The man said "You just missed her, stay  
Maybe she'll come back again."  
I sat and watched the crowds…_

My eyes scanned the mass of people in front of the stage, a small beacon of hope flickered at every flash of blue, then died when it wasn't her. After being 'escorted' away from the performers, I'd pretty much run my voice raw yelling her name and followed the medics advice in waiting around for Vega to return.

After half a dozen unanswered calls, more than twenty texts and two hours, calling how I felt _concern_ would have been an understatement. Less than half an hour was left until my father would pick us up; she hadn't returned to the medical stand and I didn't want to leave in case she'd simply lost her phone. Yet I couldn't stop my mind from overreacting…

_Did she wander off? Was she hurt? Was she taken to the hospital? Should I call her parents… _no, if I did that and Vega returned, not only would they kill me for losing her in the first place, I would worry them for nothing.

_What would she do if I was the one that disappeared? _I contemplated. Well, she'd head to the first aid stand, obviously, since it was our rendezvous point, then maybe the stage… the bathrooms! I didn't check the bathrooms! I doubted she would have been there for this long but decided to take the risk. I gave the medic my number in case she did return and went in search of the lost girl.

I quickly ran down the lines, glaring a reply to the protests of people complaining for pushing past them. I called her name as I sprinted, but all that came back was obnoxious remarks from idiot teenagers telling me they hadn't seen her. After receiving the same result from each door I knocked on, I resumed wandering through the crowds, calling after her as fear tightened its grip around my chest with each passing minute.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_My father came at midnight,  
We searched 'til half-past four.  
I was half hysterical!  
My father wasn't sure.  
He called for the police…_

I tried to stop the flow of tears from streaming down my face but I was exhausted. The alcohol from earlier had worn off by the time we were taken to the police station and it wasn't long before I'd become completely overwhelmed. It was my fault that she was missing.

_Missing_. That's what they'd called it. Not lost but _missing_. The word scared me far more than I'd wanted to admit.

Contrary to what I had been led to believe, we weren't required to wait a whole day for them to spring into action. They did however, call her parents; though, thankfully I managed to avoid them. The officers had taken me into a room for questioning. At first all I could say was _coffee_, but after the warm soothing liquid reached my stomach, the words tumbled out of my mouth. There wasn't a lot to tell, but I gave them what I had and afterwards I was, thankfully left alone.

The harsh pain in my chest only grew as I sat there alone with my coffee and my guilt. Tori hadn't even wanted to go to the concert; I'd talked her into it. I was supposed to take care of her! I was supposed to keep her safe!

_Missing._ I hated it. None of it made sense. How could she be gone? Where _was_ she?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

_I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to let you down  
But you left me all alone.  
Why didn't you scream, why didn't you shout?  
I'm sorry, I hate it that I let you down!  
What really happened last night?  
All I can do is scream, all I do is shout!  
Why didn't you shout?_

Daylight. I should've been in school. I should've been hung over, telling Cat and the rest of my friends how awesome the concert was. Instead, I sat curled in a ball in the middle of my bed, staring at the remains of my belongings scattered around the floor. I couldn't understand any of it. Tori was gone. She was _missing_ and it was my fault.

I felt it all crash down on me once my bedroom door was closed. The pain of not being able to simply ask her out on a normal date; the anguish of months of having these awful feelings and not knowing what they were; the terror when I eventually realized I'd fallen for her… Last night I added shock to the mix when I turned looked and found she'd just disappeared. And to tell the truth, I was hurt; she just left and didn't even say goodbye. Then I became angry; it was the one emotion I was especially familiar with. I turned it all around and lashed out, destroying everything in sight, throwing objects around the room, tearing up books, smashing ornaments…

Once the fury had dissipated, I was left feeling hurt again. Tori was gone and I was to blame. I knew they would hold me responsible, not just for talking her into going with me, but for promising to keep her safe. When I'd arrived to pick her up, her parents had said no. Yet just like their daughter, they had caved: Tori had a phone, my father would be back for us at twelve and I would take care of their baby. But I hadn't. I'd failed not only them, but myself.

The police had tried to reassure us; they suggested that she'd probably run off with a boy. Everyone else had accepted this, but a sick, twisted part of me hoped she'd been taken. The thought that she might have ditched me for a guy drove me insane. Also, I knew she wouldn't do that. Tori wasn't like that, she cared about her friends. Still, the possibility turned my stomach and I couldn't cope.

I fell back against my pillow and crawled under the covers, hoping if I fell asleep I would wake up to find it was all a horrible dream. That she wasn't missing. That she was alright. That I still had time to tell her I was in love with her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

_The next day the sergeant  
Found her blue dress in the creek.  
Her parents were so angry  
They put the blame on me…_

I was numb. I knew he was telling the truth, not even _he_ was cruel enough to lie about something so important. At that moment I didn't care that it was my father sitting on my bed, asking me if I was alright. All the years of pain caused by my parents, disappeared as I tried to take in the news that something bad had happened to Tori.

He put a hand on my knee and it was enough to break me out of the shock. I sprang forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, letting the tears soak his shirt. I didn't hold back the sobs that escaped my lips and cried for the first time in years in my father's arms. Surprisingly, he held me just as tight. The circles he rubbed on my shoulder blades comforted me enough to eventually regain my composure and sit back. I looked at his face and could see tears shining in his eyes.

* * *

I'd stayed home for the next two days. After doing nothing more than crying in my room and wallowing in despair on the first day, I'd gotten up and began cleaning. I'd tried to keep myself busy and by the end of the second day, not only was the house spotless, I was drained. On the third day I'd tried to visit the Vega's.

The police car sitting across the road should have deterred me, but I couldn't sit around the house and just do nothing. When I'd knocked on the front door it was Trina who'd answered.

Trina, I'd almost forgotten about her. When she saw me her eyes narrowed in anger. Instead of letting me in she had pushed me back and closed the door behind her. When she turned to face me the first thing I saw was her fist.

"Ow!" I cried, holding my eye. _She punched me!_ I looked at her and was glad to see she was holding her hand in pain.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Trina spat out at me.

"You hit me!" I was stunned. Normally no one would lay a hand on me, they were too scared to even try. Pure shock was the only thing that kept me from retaliating.

"You deserved it." She shook her hand. "Man your face is hard." She murmured before telling me why I would have a black eye the next day. "It's your fault my sisters been kidnapped!" I looked at her in horror.

"K-kidnapped…?" I squeaked out. "No. No, no no no…"

"Well," She shrugged. "It's something they're considering." She looked at me. "I just wanted to see you squirm."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, completely forgetting the blow. _Damn you, Trina. That really freaked me out. _I was only told they'd found her dress, no one said anything about receiving… anything else. Trina's face softened then.

"You're really upset."

"Of course I'm upset, you psycho!" I yelled at her and sat down on the bench opposite the door in hopes that I could slow the pounding in my chest.

"But…" Trina stepped closer to me. "Don't you hate Tori?" My head snapped up to the older Vega and out of habit I'd almost told her that I did, but grief was written all over her face. Instead I shook my head and told her the truth..

"I don't hate her. I… I care about her a lot." I looked at the ground. If I'd told Tori the truth instead of chickening out maybe she'd still be here. Maybe we'd be sitting on that couch behind that door, watching some cheesy reality show; I would scoff at the idiots and Tori would tell me off for making fun of a show she actually enjoyed. We would sit close and gradually my arm would wrap around her shoulders. Eventually I would give up on the stupid program and begin a heated make out session, surprising Vega at my lust… Instead, I sat outside her door, talking to her sister.

"I'm in love with her." I confessed quietly, tears once again stinging my eyes. I should have told her. At first I thought maybe Trina hadn't heard me.

"I- you- she… wow! Tori said you were spending more time together but I didn't think- I mean- I didn't know- I… wow! She said you guys are friends but I just thought she was being… _Tori_. I didn't…" I almost laughed at her sputtering and uncomfortable babbling. Instead I shook my head again.

"She didn't know." I quickly wiped my eyes, not wanting to appear any more weak than I already did. "I was going to tell her that night… then…" I looked back up at Trina. She seemed shocked and as my words sunk in her face softened to one of sadness.

"I'm sorry." She was about to say something else when we heard a noise from inside. Trina looked to the door but it didn't open. I stood up.

"Look," She said, turning back to me. "I can see you really do care about Tori, but my parents," She glanced back at the door and shook her head. "They blame you for her disappearance." I nodded.

"I'm not surprised, I do too." Trina reached out to me but thought better of it and pulled back.

"I think…" She paused and a pained expression came over her face. "I think for the moment, they need someone to blame. It's all they can do to not go mad. Just…" She trailed off and I understood.

"I get it. I just wanted to see if I could do anything to help." I turned and started to leave after muttering thanks.

"Wait." I paused and looked at her. "I'll let you know if we hear anything." I nodded. "And Jade? It's not your fault. I don't blame you and really neither do my parents. I- I know whatever… wherever Tori is… she doesn't blame you." She said it with such sincerity that I believed her. Yet, the guilt burning in my chest could not disappear. I still held myself responsible and as long as she was gone, I always would.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

_Then a fortnight later  
Tori knocked upon their door.  
Her mother asked her "Where've you been?"  
And she said_  
"_I don't know… I don't know. I'm not sure!  
I'm not sure; I can't remember anything at all!"_

I waited an hour after the last light went out in the house before I moved beneath her window. Her parents had forbidden me from going anywhere near her but I needed to see for myself that she was alright.

When Trina had messaged me earlier that day I was in class. Sitting around at home had driven me to near insanity, so a week after she had gone missing I returned to school, only to find I'd become a pariah. No one would talk to me. When I entered the room they would whisper, even the teachers barely spoke to me. And my friends… what friends? Beck gave me a sad smile that first day but avoided any form of contact afterwards; Andre never spoke a word in my presence and if looks could kill well… it was to be expected, she was his best friend after all. Cat? Poor Cat. She started to cry whenever she saw me. I couldn't tell if she blamed me for what happened or was simply reminded of Tori too much. Robbie followed Cat around and began using Rex to speak more often than not. Trina was the only one to give me any kind of acknowledgement, but she never came back to school.

Most of the time I simply let the teacher mark me as having attended and slipped out once their back was turned. I spent more time in the janitor's closet than in class.

When Trina's message had arrived I'd simply dashed out of the room and phoned her. She had told me not to come over, that they were heading to the hospital, but Tori seemed to be unharmed.

What did that mean, _unharmed_? I needed to see Tori, I had to tell her how sorry I was, how much I cared about her. Before Trina could say anything else another voice came onto the phone: it was their father. He reprimanded Trina for speaking to me and said I would never talk to his daughters again. I understood: they still blamed me and now that she was back they would coddle her; I doubted she would be able to leave their sight any time soon.

Which was why I had to be careful climbing the tree outside of her window. Not only could I scare Tori, but her parents might see me and go so far as to get a restraining order. I just couldn't stand the separation.

The moonlight reflected around her room and I saw that the door stood open, but the house remained silent. I slipped through the window and kneeled next to the bed. Tori was asleep on her back, her long brown hair fanned over her face and I brushed the locks behind her ear. She looked peaceful as she slept.

"Tori?" I spoke in a whisper, barely audible even to me. "I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me one day." I then caressed my lips lightly against her cheek and imparted a gentle kiss, marvelling at the way her skin felt upon my touch. I desperately wanted more, but she was asleep and it was most certainly _not_ the time.

For now it was enough that I'd seen her; she was alive and she was okay, so it was time to leave. As I climbed back through the window I swear I heard her speak as she slept.

"Jade?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

_Oh Tori, I'm sorry that I let you down.  
But you left me all alone.  
Oh Tori, why didn't you scream, why didn't you shout?  
I'm sorry, I hate it that I let you down!  
What really happened to you, Tori?  
Why didn't you scream?  
Why didn't you shout?  
Why didn't you shout?  
Why didn't you shout?_

She wasn't okay; that much I was sure of. It had taken another two excruciating weeks for her to return to school and almost immediately I could tell something was terribly wrong. She never spoke of what happened; pretty soon it was widely known that she had disappeared and returned with no memory of that time. Yet, instead of going back to the happy, peppy Tori everyone knew and loved, she'd become quiet. She never volunteered in class, her singing stopped completely and most worryingly, she didn't speak to her friends.

I'd watched from my hiding place behind a door as Cat tried to hug her the first day she'd returned. I'd been shocked to see her dart back against the lockers as if she'd been bitten and look at Cat with such fear that it broke my heart.

* * *

As the days went by it only became worse. I was obsessed with observing her every move and it scared me that she barely spoke a word to anyone. I would often see her sitting alone and noticed that she avoided people completely. Something _had_ happened in that time; and it had broken her. I didn't know what to do. If I approached her I knew it wouldn't do any good and I would simply scare her, but she couldn't go on the way she was.

I contemplated how I could help her as I sat, once again, in the janitor's closet. It had become my safe haven; away from the accusing eyes of the other students and somewhere I could sit and think about everything or just destroy something with my favourite pair of scissors. Today I did both.

I was surprised when the door suddenly opened and even more so when the girl who had constantly been on my mind, entered.

"Vega?' I asked quietly, trying to avoid startling her as she closed the door.

"Jade!" I hid the shock from my face as I stood up. "Wh-what are you doing in here?"

"Funny. I was going to ask you the same thing." I smirked at her and tried to keep some semblance of our old friendship alive.

"I…" She turned to the door and worry etched over her face; she looked back at me and swallowed. "I kind of… freaked out in class."

"What happened? Are you alright? Did someone hurt you? If they did don't worry about them, they're already dead." I told her seriously, unable to keep the anxiousness from my voice. To my surprise, she laughed.

"Wow, never thought I'd see the day _Jade West_ worried about me." Her face dropped to a frown. "How come you never came to see me?" It was my turn to be shocked.

"Did-didn't they tell you?" She looked at me with confusion. "Your parents banned me from contacting you." Her eyes widened.

"What?!"

"I think they still blame me for… what happened."

"Oh… Jade, I'm so sorry." She took a step towards me. "Please don't think that I blame you too. It- it wasn't your fault." I could see the tears evident in her eyes and I knew she was telling the truth; if nothing else but for the fact that she was actually speaking to me.

"It _is_ my fault though. I dragged you there, if I just let you stay home like you wanted…" She shook her head.

"No. Don't you _dare_ even think that! I _wanted_ to go with you, truly I did." I watched her speak and before I knew it the words were out of my mouth.

"Do you really not remember anything?" I asked softly and almost kicked myself for saying it. She pulled back slightly but never broke eye contact.

"I…" She swallowed and shook her head. "No. All I can remember is dancing next to you…" She looked to the side and I assumed she was back at the concert, a smile spread over her face. "You were holding my hand… and… we were having so much fun. Then," Her face turned sad and she frowned. "Something happened… the next thing I know I- I'm waking up outside my house in nothing but a blanket…" She looked back at me with tears threatening to fall and spoke in a quiet voice. "What happened to me, Jade? Why can't I remember anything?" All of a sudden she threw herself at me and, not needing an invitation, I wrapped my arms around her as she sobbed into my neck.

"I don't know." I whispered into her hair. She held onto me with the tightest grip I have ever experienced, yet I didn't ask her to relax. I let my own tears fall and despite everything, was glad in that moment. I held her as we both cried and never wanted to let go.

I didn't know what her feelings were, but for the time, all I needed was to have her hold me as if I was _her_ whole world.

After a while we both settled down, but neither of us pulled away. I began stroking her hair softly and breathing in the smell of her shampoo. I almost didn't hear it when she spoke.

"I don't know how to act around them…"

"Who?" I kept my eyes closed as I brushed her hair with my fingers.

"Everyone." She replied and turned her head so her cheek rested on my shoulder. I lightly trailed from her temple to her neck, touched her shoulders and combed the hair down her back. She sighed softly in content and the thrill of excitement shot through my chest.

"You're doing fine with me." I told her, not letting up my caressing of her hair. She scoffed before replying.

"I'm not in love with anyone else." I took in a breath and couldn't move. She must have realised what she'd said as a second later she pulled away and slapped a hand over her mouth. I couldn't breathe. She said… she said… my mind wouldn't function.

"I-I-I…" She stuttered between her fingers. Finally my brain kicked into action and I felt like dancing. She was staring with horror into my eyes, shaking her head and stepping backwards toward the door but I wasn't going to let her leave. I touched her arm and let my fingers flutter against her skin, fully enjoying the contact and trailed down, pulling her hand into mine. We never looked away.

"Do you really mean it?" I asked, the beginnings of a smile touched my lips and it was all I could do not to break out into a wide goofy grin. Her gaze flickered between my eyes and my mouth, trying to decipher their meaning. After a moment she took in a heavy breath and nodded. She opened her mouth, to confirm or repeat her confession, I wasn't sure. Instead of letting her talk I captured her lips with mine, kissing her with everything I had. I didn't waste a single second, darting my tongue between her teeth and running it across her top lip. I wanted to taste every inch of her and stroked the base of her tongue. I was in heaven and from the way she copied my movements, I guessed she was too. My hands seemed to move on their own accord. I let go of her and trailed back up her arm, resting my palm against her cheek and running my thumb across the trails of her tears. My other hand jumped straight to her back and I found myself longing to remove her shirt; instead I settled for slipping it beneath the offending fabric and trickling my fingertips across her spine. I held her tightly and loved the feel of her skin on mine. I was pleasantly surprised to find her pulling my shirt up and let out a muffled moan as she ran her hands up and down my stomach.

It felt like we were kissing for hours; I couldn't get enough of her but eventually we broke apart and gasped for air. I placed a light kiss on her lips and rested my forehead against hers; I left my eyes shut and delighted in how it felt to have her heavy breath blast against mine.

"Wow." She exclaimed and I opened my eyes to find her smiling back at me.

"Yeah…" I gasped, unable to form coherent words. We looked at each other for a while, content to just be. Once we were finally breathing normal again, I leant forward and gave her a short sweet kiss before pulling back. It was time.

"Tori Vega," I began, feeling my heart pound enthusiastically in my chest as I finally had the chance to tell her how I felt. It didn't matter that she had said it first or that I was still nervous, none of it mattered: her parents, my parents, our friends… it was all irrelevant. I didn't know what was wrong with her or what had happened to make her so scared, but I knew that as long as we were together we could get through anything.

"I am completely and hopelessly in love with you."


	9. Epilogue

**Epilogue- Sarah  
**

_1997, Livid festival.  
Me and Sarah my best friend  
Stripy tights and fairy wings  
Safe as safe can be…_

_We drank the gin we'd snuck in,_  
_Danced to Ben Folds Five._  
_I turned around to Sarah_  
_Couldn't see her anywhere._  
_Safe as safe can be…_

_Oh, Sarah. I didn't mean to let you down_  
_But you left me on my own, Sarah!_  
_Why didn't you scream?_

_I went to all the stages_  
_And to the St John's stand._  
_The man said "You just missed her_  
_Stay- maybe she'll come back again."_  
_I sat and watched the crowds._

_My father came at midnight_  
_We searched 'til half-past four._  
_I was half hysterical!_  
_My father wasn't sure_  
_He called for the police…_

_Oh, Sarah. I didn't mean to let you down_  
_But you left me on my own, Sarah!_  
_Why didn't you scream? Why didn't you shout?_  
_Sarah, I hate it that I let you down!_  
_But you left me on my own, Sarah!_  
_Why didn't you scream? Why didn't you shout?_  
_Why didn't you shout?_

_The next day the sergeant_  
_Found her blue dress in the creek._  
_Her parents were so angry_  
_They put the blame on me._

_Then a fortnight later_  
_Sarah knocked upon their door._  
_Her mother asked her "Where've you been?"_  
_And she said  
"I don't know, I don't know. I'm not sure  
I'm not sure, I can't remember anything at all!"_

_Oh, Sarah. I didn't mean to let you down_  
_But you left me on my own, Sarah!_  
_Why didn't you scream? Why didn't you shout?_  
_Sarah, I hate it that I let you down!_  
_But you left me on my own, Sarah!_  
_Why didn't you scream? Why didn't you shout?_  
_Why didn't you shout?_

Only a select few knew who the song was really about. Both Tori and I wanted to keep our private life, well, private. We loved our fans, don't get me wrong, but there's a difference between telling them a sad story and revealing something that personal, that painful.

I'd started writing it as the event unfolded, jotting down my thoughts as I usually did with everything else. Then years later when I was boxing up my things to move into our new apartment, I found them again. Tori had been surprised and the words had brought back bad memories, but she was mostly past the experience and enjoyed my musings. It had taken her a long time to recover. None of us really understood what had caused her to go into shock like that, I doubted we ever would. Yet over time, with much more patience and support than I knew I had in me, she began to heal. She was never the same bubbly girl she had been before, but she was happy again.

Once our careers hit a certain point, we felt secure enough to begin to settle into our lives and allowed time to just be happy with each other. It would never be easy, show business doesn't work that way, but we were earning enough to take the time off to write music that truly meant something to us. That was when we were able to sit down and fine tune Sarah. We both poured our heart and soul into the lyrics and sang it together. It was _our_ song, not just mine and not just about her. It expressed the guilt I felt at the time and the guilt Tori felt later on. I knew she never blamed me for what happened, as I didn't hold her responsible. While we may never know what really happened, a part of both of us will always treasure that time because it brought us together.  
After all, that's all we ever really wanted: each other.

**The end.**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **Victorious and it's characters do not belong to me. I claim no ownership of anything regarding the show or the characters. I claim no ownership of the song Sarah, which belongs to Kate Miller-Heidke. I do not own any lyrics in this story.

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**Author Note:** If your not interested in the reading about the song and all the other stuff, feel free to skip this, all I ask is that you leave a review and let me know what you thought.

I know some of you will be sad that it ended it this way, but it was always going to be a short story and the ending feels right. I didn't want to drag it out just for the sake of prolonging the inevitable. Anyway, the song. This is a real song called Sarah. It's by Kate Miller-Heidke and you can probably find it on youtube or itunes. I highly suggest you listen to it, hopefully you'll be able to understand why I needed to write this after you hear it.

Done that? Good. Now, here's the interesting part: this story is based on a true story. This is what Kate says: "This story happened to a friend of mine, one of my best friends from high school, and the story's told from her point of view. It is nearly all real details—I've used some literary licence—but it's mostly real. In Grade 9, her friend went missing at a music festival and two weeks later, just turned up at her parents' house with no memory of where she had been. My friend was never allowed to see her again, because everybody blamed her. To this day, my friend doesn't know what happened, because her parents broke off contact. My friend and I had a sleepover in Grade 10, and she told this story to me over several hours while we were lying in our beds with our lights off. I've never forgotten it. It was a story that has always haunted me."  
I don't know who this is about, but it _is_ set in Australia. The song is so chilling and beautiful...  
The lyrics throughout the rest of the fic, however, _are_ mine- to an extent. I decided to change them slightly, rather than confusing things with describing what was already in the song, so that it was more like Jade would be writing down her feelings in a diary, later getting together with Tori and creating the song out of it.

So I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I have to say though, I absolutely love your reviews. Each one means a lot to me and seeing your reactions as I updated it... it made me weep with joy. I hope people keep reviewing now this is finished as I can address questions and concerns (and errors).  
Thanks!


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